Soap is not a condiment
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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