Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
