hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
