Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
