@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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