when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
