My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
