i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i just google imaged poop.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
