Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she looked like the before picture.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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