I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
