She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
