Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
