whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
