I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
