We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
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