I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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