you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
