oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
