Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
