We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
