so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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