you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
