One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
fuck your aforementioned shoe
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
