dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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