He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
