How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
