The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
