Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
