he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I looked at my own cervix.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
