I am puke
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just gift wrapped bread.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
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