I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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