just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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