1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
