you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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