I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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