Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
