i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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