At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
