i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
