Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
