this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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