Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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