Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I will pee on everything he values.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
