JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize