Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
