Don't you send me to vm
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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