She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
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