well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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