So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
