yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
