I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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