Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
