My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
