i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
