I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
