2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
