Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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