the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
