We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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