Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
