Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
