first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wish my penis had a tongue
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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